Magic Bullets

Talking to people you don't know yet!

Talking easily to people you don't know yet is a key skill, whether for networking, selling or attraction. Some people find it easy - others, at least temporarily, can find it a genuine challenge, particularly in in a place where they don't know anybody.

There is a view that men find this much harder than women to approach new people, with the possible explanation that many, many years ago if a man approached a new women he ran the risk of being beaten up, excluded from the tribe, or killed by local alpha males or tribe leader....

There follows a list, partially humorous and partly serious of ideas of how to introduce yourself to people you don't know yet. This is about first contact - not what happens next.

However before the list some very general thoughts:
  • Genuinely respect peoples space
  • Remember what you actually say and do may not make the slightest difference (who you are can have more impact than what you say) (some people will be friendly / unfriendly what ever you say and do) - so don't think to much and just do it!
  • Standing side by side, as at a bar, is often the easiest positioning to strike up a conversation
  • Noticing something you have in common can help
Obviously some of these are context dependent ie you may choose not to use a business opener in an attraction situation.
Limited time approach
"I 've wanted to say hi, I'm Michael, I've heard a lot about you and would like to talk, unfortunately I've arranged to (anything that sounds plausible) and can't talk now. I'll catch you later.
Totally honest approach
Be totally authentic, say exactly what you feel,
" I'm glad to say hi, I don't know anyone here, and you looked friendly, I'm Michael"
"I've wanted to meet you for some time, can you give me 10 minutes?" "I'm Michael.."
Unspecified compliment
When walking past,
"Great colour.."
"Great energy.."
Hesitate for for a split second, brief eye contact, if unfriendly walk on, if you notice a possible connection..
"It's curious...I've always felt a connection with blue.."
"Tell me you do some spiritual discipline like yoga or meditation? have a poised energy"
An observation or comment about the current situation then a question
"Good presentation (slight pause) how do you........?
Ask for an opinion?
"I've read this article that claimed that 50% of women actually believe that spells work, I just find it hard to believe, have you a view? .... could it be true?
(Cheeky) Disqualification
"You look really great, it's a bit of shame because I personally prefer blondes / brunnettes /someone younger / someone older (ie what ever the person isn't)"
Mutual friend recommendation
"Sue suggested we ought to talk"
"I had to come up and say hi and introduce myself....It's really strange I just had a dream about someone who was wearing...... "
To be continued........

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