Magic Bullets

Eliciting values

Eliciting values is one the quickest ways of both getting into rapport and finding out how much you have in common with someone. The interesting thing about these approaches is that whoever you're approaching will often learn about themselves - and be grateful for the experience.

I recently met someone who I'd only met once and hadn't seen for a year who said that they both remembered the interaction and really enjoyed it.

Warm up

I'm starting with a superb Ross Jeffries approach which is amazing fun, offers the opportunity to practice some great anchoring - and a genuine way of developing a strong connection with someone. It also stops the conversation getting too serious!!

It uses the classic Richard Bandler technique of asking someone to choose between two close alternatives - they have to think deeply! (Answer the questions yourself as I ask them - works equally well for men, just substitute girl for man.)

"I read a fun thing about relationships. Can I ask you some quick questions?"

"Two men - one has a great touch; one is a great dancer, which would you choose?"

and to whichever they choose ask "Whats important to you about (their words) ?"

"Two men - one can really, really make you laugh; one is a great kisser, which would you choose?"

and to whichever they choose ask "Whats important to you about (their words) ?"

"Two men - one is really rich; the other makes you feel the most desired women in the country, in fact on the planet, which would you choose?"

and to which ever they choose ask "Whats important to you about (their words) ?"

So if you met a man who was (repeat back their answers) you would probably be interested?

Check their non verbal response!

"That's really interesting I'm just curious; to keep a man like that coming back to you again and again, what three qualities to you offer him?"

Interestingly enough very few go for the money option (although my daughter is one of the exceptions).

Eliciting values

You may then choose to continue to a more traditional values elicitation:

"Tell me whats important you in a relationship - give me some key words?"

Whatever the answer is "That's interesting - what does that get you?

When you have a number ask "Which of those is the most important?"

When you've done that ask "and what else.

When you've finished repeat back the 3-5 most important asking "So what's important to you is .............." Watch their non verbal response.

So what typically is important to women in a relationship

Typical answers include:

*Security, Connection, Trust, Attraction, Self reliance, Excitement

Inteestingly enough some (men) will say that social proof is important - which explains why some (not all) women will normally be attracted to a man who is already with an attractive women.

Which is why many seduction approaches are based on exploring security, connection, attraction and social proof.

(*of course some (women) consider being with the most dangerous man the safest place to be.)

Any questions give me a call. Or simply add a comment!


(01908) 506563

PPI Business NLP Ltd

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