I was quietly drinking a bottle of Stella and a dancer came up to me and asked:
"Hey Mr psychic tell me something about me you can't possibly know!"
"hmmm" I responded "It's really curious I'm actually seeing an image of you about five years ago......and it's really interesting........it's strange...I can see and hear you......you weren't nearly as confident then; you've put a lot of work into coming over as confidently as you do now, haven't you?"
"Oh ***k! how could you possibly know, you're absolutely right....I wish I hadn't asked.....I'm feeling quite strange.....I expected you to say something totally superficial."
Which is a real example of cold reading - I know it happened last week. Although on paper it doesn't anything like as powerful as in real life.
Ian Rowland defines cold reading as:
"......a deceptive psychological strategy. Amongst other things it can be used by someone who is not a psychic to give what seems to be a very convincing psychic readings."
It's a short cut and exceptionally effective way of giving highly effective psychic readings including tarot, astrology, palmistry, meduimship, clairvoyance, psychometry, crystal ball gazing, aura reading and intuitive reading - while knowing only a smattering of the vocabulary of the method being used.
And used by Derren Brown.
You can buy Ian's book 'The full facts book of cold reading' here
Actually like all communication techniques it is only deceptive when used to deceive people. Cold reading is done naturally by all good communicators - whether in seduction, dating, sales or psychic reading.
It shares many similarities with hypnosis (is cold reading an application of NLP?). When I read Ian's book I alternated between laughing (some of its so obvious - and totally ruthless - although this doesn't stop it working) and feeling slightly ill (I suddenly realised how a number of people I know get away with appearing exceptionally knowledgeable while knowing very little.)
It's a fusion of many skills including rapport, listening, questioning, understanding basic human nature, state management, storytelling, being vague at times, using everything that's offered, presenting both sides of a charachteristic at once, having a back up plan you so know where to go whatever responses you get etc. etc. You can use it to create very strong rapport and a very strong emotional connection.
However like many of the topics in this seduction blog.......if you learn any of the techniques or approaches and put them into practice you cannot not learn about people. And when your approaches fail, as they must eventually - that is when the connection thats been created is what counts.
If you're interested I highly recommend Ian's book.
Any questions give me a call. Or simply add a comment!
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