Magic Bullets

3 Recommended books about men and women

Three recommended books about men and women are 'Dangerous men and adventurous women' edited by Jaynes Ann Krentz, 'Ordinary women extraordinary sex' by Dr Sandra Scantling and Sue Browder and 'Sperm wars' by Robin Baker.

The books individually approach the subject from three different perspectives: romantic fiction, good sex from a female perspective, and biology.

Neither consider the subject from a moral perspective - what they give is a indication of some of the underlying divers.

Dangerous men and adventurous women is a collection of essays by best selling romance novelists about their craft. Depending on where you get your information between 25-50% of all books sold are romantic fiction.

The key aspects of a successful romantic novel seem to be:

  • They have a happy ending - resolving often complex and paradoxical issues
  • The hero is some version of a "mean, moody, magnificent creature with a curling lip and a mocking eye and an arrogant air of self assurance" - (well until he meets the heroine)
  • The heroine always conquers the hero - not vice versa
  • The writer's ability to lead the imagination and emotions and create a fantasy that resonates with the reader is more important than plot and or grammar.

Ordinary women extraordinary sex is about women who experience great sex. It's about unlocking inhibitions and finding one own unique keys to pleasure. It isn't about a better position, a better body or a better partner - in-fact the importance of the man's role is not as important as some might think. (other than she needs to be able to trust him.)

It is about focus and mindset:

  • Learning to quiet the mind
  • Staying connected to what you love - letting the moment lead you
  • Trusting your partner and yourself
  • Finding your own true voice among the "shoulds"
  • Suspending certainty and cultivating a beginner's mind
  • Enhancing your enjoyment of senses, images and fantasies

The thrust of Sperm Wars is that evolution has programmed men to conquer and monopolise women while women, without even knowing they are doing it, seek the best genetic input on offer from available sexual partners.

Men's drive is to produce the largest number of healthy children while women drive is to be very selective and choose the best genes AND the best male to protect any offspring - ideally but not necessarily the same male.

The interesting idea is that, regardless of what we think, these concepts are hardwired into or bodies at a physical level and while we always have the option of saying no - there is often a disconnect between what we think we're doing and how our bodies are acting. And it's often our bodies that drive our behaviour.

Some ideas proposed:

  • Less than 1% of a man's sperm can fertilise anything, the rest is there to hinder other men's sperm
  • Human females naturally hide their fertility (even from themselves) - giving her more control over when and by whom she conceives
  • From a biological point of view what's right for one partner is often not the best for the other
  • There is more differences between different women than different men. Men should not assume that one women is like another.


PPI Business NLP

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